Monday, May 14, 2012

1, 2, 3, 4...


In case you haven't heard.
12 weeks. Baby to arrive November 19th.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Good 40 Days

Our Ward Relief Society has challenged us to read the Book of Mormon in 40 days. This could not have come at a better time for me. Personal scripture study at a lull... (I don't count the 5 minutes we read with the kids each night... that's more of a battle of the 'sit stills' than it is spiritual upliftment for me). What a great excuse my amazing RS leaders have given me to start anew and refresh my spirit. I have found, which we always do when we stop and then start up again, that when I thought I had no time to read even a chapter, I have now found time to read 5-10 chapters, getting all other reasonable duties done and plenty of time for relaxation in my day. Amazing how that happens, no?

In our study today, I came upon one of my absolute favorite scriptures and it caused me to ponder. 2Nephi Chapter 2 is one of my all time favorite chapters. But it holds this scripture:

2Nephi 2:27
"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient to man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

I memorized this scripture my freshman year at BYU by assignment from my Book of Mormon Instructor. This Brother changed my life. Perhaps not in the dramatic sense that you may think, but my spiritual life. My testimony, while it may go through weak periods, has always been there, and my faith has never faltered, for which I am so grateful. But he introduced me to a deeper meaning of the scriptures, who I am, and my relationship with My Savior.

I"m sure this scripture means something slightly different to everyone, but to me its freedom. I have the CHOICE, to live eternally, or live a captive to the devil. And Satan is so very clever and sneaky. I think we live as his captive and don't even know that's what we're doing. And the Savior has made it so simple. Choosing to live through the great Mediator brings us liberty and eternal life. Choosing against that, makes us a captive to Satan.

While I'm quite sure my trials pale in comparison to many around me, my life thus far has not be without pain and trial. I have experienced suffering. In this past week or so my husband has been thinking a lot about his mom, whose 2 year anniversary of her death is approaching. I think most look at Aaron and think he handles it remarkably well, but what a painful experience it was 2 years ago, in the moment. And certainly, where death looms, I often reflect on my own experience of when my sister passed away. Memories of pain, tears, emptiness and loneliness flood my mind. I still hate the smell of flowers. 15 years later, I have so many new memories, new experiences, new things to be grateful for, I don't mourn her actual loss very often, its usually only in unexpected moments. She mostly appears as a happy memory, that we speak of as an angel watching over us. Someone we feel, together as a family when we are in the temple, or an otherwise sacred family experience. As an adult, I have a completely different view of it. My mourning comes as a heartache to my parents. As a parent myself now, I can easier relate to their feelings of loss. As a teenager, your understanding is of course limited. I admire my mother more now, for being strong. For still being a mother to me. Even when our house felt so empty and cold, with one less bubbly 8 year old loudly running around, she pressed forward with such undeniable faith. Never was there blame on God. Never was there a deteriorated faith. She was so absolutely certain that everything was going to be okay, and that we were an eternal family and would be together again, that I felt I had no other option but to feel the same. And I have. And two years ago, while it wasn't my own mother that passed away, I had to watch my husband, and his family experience this similar thing. Its awfully hard to watch and support a spouse go through something like this. I was SO grateful for my experience with my sister. I'm sure there were some things I could have done better, but I just knew... with everything in me, because I had experienced it, that everything really would be okay, if we CHOSE the great Mediator. If we CHOSE life eternal. Death and trials in general are not easy. That's why they are called trials. They test us. They refine us. They mold us into people I believe we would not have otherwise become.

Something Sister Clark (a dear woman in my ward) said on Sunday in her testimony really enlightened me. And I hope I'm not taking her words out of context, but this was how I remember her words. She talked about how as she was just starting her family, there is usually an expectation (from ourselves) of perfection. Perfect kids. Perfect marriage. Perfect house. And while perfection is something we strive for, Perfection was not the Savior's plan. It was someone elses... Satans. Every question answered. Every doubt physically debunked. Our plans laid out perfectly. There is no progression. There is no faith needed. 2Nephi 2:23 "And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin."

I don't know why my sister was chosen to pass away at 8 years old. I don't know why Aaron's mom was taken so quickly at 65. I don't know why it took 4 years to get pregnant with #1 kid, while all the others have come so easily. I have guesses. But really, for me, it doesn't matter. Because no matter what, I will always choose the great Mediator. It may take me awhile to get there in a particular experience. But I know God wants me to be free. I know he wants me to have eternal life. I want to be a family with my sister again. I miss her. And I'll be danged if I'm going to let someone as miserable as Satan bring me down with him lessening my chances of being with my family again.

I am ever so grateful for my testimony. Specifically my testimony of eternal families. I know my Savior loves me. I know he held me when I was afraid 15 years ago. When I was lonely in a dorm room thousands of miles away from family 11 years ago. When I was sobbing tears of thoughts I may never be a mother. And so many small moments in between and now. I know he forgives me for all my crazy long list of imperfections. I know he wants me to be more than what I am... I'm working on it. And I know that even when I have thought I know better, and have left Him in the back seat, he always opens His door for me when I come to my senses. I Choose Eternal Life.

And I think this will be a good... no a great... 40 days.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Butterflies in the grass

Today was my first "butterflies in the grass" experience. The boys had their very first T-Ball game, or scrimmage rather. Dad is coaching. Both boys are playing. The boys have had very little exposure to organized sports. Neither one is very aggressive. They aren't typically motivated by competitive behavior or trying new things, which is almost all the more reason that I really wanted them to play T-Ball.

First, I had to bribe them with a promise of slushies after the game to motivate them  not to fight me about getting in uniform, getting out the door, and going onto the field. Check. Success.

They seemed to be okay at following directions... but in the dugout, instead of watching their teammates, it was much more fun to walk back and forth on the bench, put their gloves over their faces, and try and stick body parts through the fence. However, they stayed in there the entire time and were eager to bat when it was their time up. Check. Success.

The first bat for both boys went well. Although after the game and with a little analysis, we've discovered that Mama's Boy is definitely left handed when it comes to sports. Oops. We'll be getting a new glove and doing some training. But both boys hit fairly well and on the first try. Mama's boy ran after the ball to throw it to first after he hit it, but we quickly directed him to put it down and run to first. And he did. Check. Success.





Fielding was our butterfly moment. I figured there must be butterflies in the grass, because all my boys did was aimlessly wander around as if there were something much more important going on beside a baseball game. Like beautiful, exotic, unique butterflies just silently muttering to be found. They were low in the ground, so naturally the boys had to lay in the grass to try and hear them. They were playing a game of "guess where I am", because the boys were turning their bodies in every direction, backward, forward, sideways, and around. The butterflies were searching for food, so of course the boys needed to pick some grass and throw it up so they could catch it and munch on it. They were playing a game of "I'm going to land on your head", so naturally the boys needed to protect themselves by laying their gloves atop their heads.  Hands were in the air trying to catch what I can only imagine to be butterflies. But I can't say I blame them. I love butterflies too. Mama's boy only ran off the field twice, and once I reminded him there were snacks afterwards he quickly ran back out. Check. Success.

Even with those darn distracting butterflies, I thought the boys did so well. When asked what their favorite part about playing today, Big Brother responded with "throwing the ball". Mama's Boy responded with "going through the tunnel". (The tunnel is when all the parents make a tunnel with their arms for the kids to run through at the end of the game). It was so fun to be out there watching them learn. Watching them struggle, have fun, make a mistake, have a success. I feel like they are growing up so fast. I know that every game and every practice will be an improvement.

And while I'm certainly not on a determined track to make my kids star players, there is a satisfaction involved as a parent when your child learns something new, and recognizes it. I'm so proud of my boys. I'm thankful for an extremely patient husband who is willing to teach these cutie kids how to be a team. I am grateful for wonderful friends to socialize with and share laughs with at practices and games. And I am grateful for the team parents, who give me faith that there are still a lot of decent amazing parents out there who love and care about their children enough to come to t-ball practices and games, so their children can learn and have fun. I am grateful for the kids on the team, for being such good kids. Sometimes you can get stuck with bratty kids on your team. Not ours! Every single one is sweet and darn right darling. I love getting to know them all. What a fun adventure this will be for our little family... even if there are butterflies in the grass.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Letter

Season’s Greetings Family & Friends!


Sadly, we are not sending out Christmas Cards this year. I simply ran out of time. So, thanks to the internet, you get a digital one! And hopefully next year I can plan better :-)

I don’t even have a word to describe how crazy this year has been for us. But we have enjoyed every minute of it. Well… most minutes. First we moved. Yay! We are no longer renting, and bought our house. We love it! The Boss and I took a trip to Palm Beach, FL where we enjoyed being lazy, swimming in the crazy warm ocean, eating good food, riding jet skis, and making new friends. We took our annual Utah trip, where my brother blessed their first little baby... we just love him to pieces. And we have spent this Holiday Season doing lots of fun family things; Apple Hill, Columbia, Six Flags, The Polar Express, The Oakland Temple… lots of memories had.

The Boss is still working for Eli Lilly & Co. He is doing very well and hopes to continue to do so. He recently got called into the Bishopric. While this keeps him much busier than his last calling, we are happy we get to see him at church every Sunday. He enjoys working with the youth again and being a part of our ward. He continues to enjoy basketball when he can fit it in, and always finds time for his daily run or bike ride. He is still serving on the BYU Alumni Board and was able to attend a basketball game while we were in Utah. Go Cougars! He mostly enjoys wrestling with the kids and taking them on “bike rides”, which consist of walking around the block while they very slowly ride their bikes.

I entered the year in full swing dance festival mode. This was honestly my life until June 11th. It was a ton of fun and an experience I will never forget. I was the dance captain for our ward (it was a tri-Stake Dance Festival), but ended up performing in it also. I forgot how much I absolutely LOVE to perform. I served on the board of my 10-year class reunion, which was a lot of fun. While facebook keeps us pretty in touch, there is something better about interacting and seeing everyone in person. It was a great blast from the past. I’m now serving as the Relief Society Activities Chair, which is slightly intimidating, but I’m enjoying it. I teach two joy schools which has been a lot of work, but so much fun. I stink at updating our blog, finding time to read, scrapbook, exercise, and craft. But those are all things I love to do, and hope this next year will allow me a little more time to do them. Right.

Big Brother turned 4 this year. He is into his last year of Joy School and next year will start kindergarten. He is still a more quiet, calm, observer of sorts; cautious about life. He LOVES Joy School and learning. He especially likes writing his name everywhere. He loves to watch movies and would sit in front of the TV all day if I let him. He is still a picky eater and eats pretty much the same things every day. He says Mama's Boy is his best friend and doesn’t like sleeping in his room when he isn’t there. He has a love for learning and is such a gentle soul. The conversations we get to have with him now that he is getting older are so fun.

Mama's Boy turned 3 this year and started Joy School. He likes to go, and depending on the mood he is in will decide how much he will participate. We finally grew out of the biting thing, although he is still quite aggressive. He likes to tease Big Brother and Queen Bee and sits in time out often for it. He loves to play outside and get dirty. He is obsessed with trucks and trains still. He is always asking me, “mom, can you build me a train bridge?” He learned how to use the toilet and sleeps in a bunk bed with Big Brother. He is still quite the momma’s boy (literally) and doesn’t usually venture far from my side. He is full of love and energy and we enjoy the crazy silly things he does and says.

Queen Bee just turned 2. She is certainly the girl in the family. She loves purses, shoes, hair, makeup, dresses and skirts. She doesn’t like being dirty, and remains dainty and lady like most times. She loves to follow her brothers and wants everything they have, and wants to do everything they do. It’s very endearing. She is talking pretty well, not quite in real sentences, but she will group 2-3 words together. She especially likes to tattle on the boys. She loves her Grandpa. We all come second when he is around. She has really been such a fun little girl to have around. She is so independent and strong willed, nothing like the boys. Its funny to have that dynamic. We just love her!

My time has run out. I have little people crying all around me.

We hope this holiday season find you all well. We have recently taken some steps back from our crazy lives to enjoy more sacred family moments. As our children are just coming to a real understanding of Christ, it has made me reflect on our simple testimony of Him as a family. We love Him. We are grateful for ALL that He has blessed us with. May you experience something similar with your friends and families this Christmas and year to come.

We love you all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



Monday, August 22, 2011

The Big Brother, The Mama's Boy & The Queen Bee

I think its obvious that I have fallen into a funk and clearly neglected my blog. I have a million excuses... but you don't care. Right now I have time, because shutterfly is offering 50% off on photo books until Wednesday and I have about 8 to create by Wednesday and uploading over 1,000 pictures on 8 different albums takes some time. I can't leave the computer unsecured because Queen Bee will terrorize it. So... I've got some computer time. Why not blog! No better time to get back into it than the present. Writing is such an outlet and deep passion of mine and I almost never take the time to do it. One of my new goals. Sometimes I think... "no one wants to read about my rambling thoughts"... then again, I'm not really sure anyone reads this anyway, so what do I really care? Plus, we are in a technological world now... use your scroll pad and skip my ramblings.
How about an update on my 3 lovelies?
Since I last blogged, we have moved into our new house (I'm NEVER moving again), gone through dance festival, 2 Florida trips, a Las Vegas trip, planning a retirement party (for a teacher), my class reunion, and summer fun! We are now getting back to some sort of a schedule with 2 joy schools starting in a week. Here is the update...

The Boss:
The Boss has been busy with his calling at church. He is doing well at work and is enjoying all his success! He wishes "real" Boss would give him more attention, but us ladies know how that goes. The Boss is still busy running or biking everyday. He recently joined the board for the BYU East Bay Alumni Association. If the boss has even one free day... he finds a way to volunteer his time away. We sure love him!

The "real" Boss:
Life is finally getting into a normal routine. With Dance Festival, which was seriously insane, I was eating and breathing dance with the youth. It was tons of fun... but man was that a lot of work! My familia saved us by temporarily adopting my children. Thanks mom and dad! I haven't been able to start up the things I enjoy yet... I haven't exercised consistently in months, I haven't read a book since Christmas, I haven't blogged since January, I haven't done a scrapbook page in about 2 years. However, I am part of a card making group... Hopefully, I can start more of these things I love so much to keep my sanity. The Boss does a good job of letting me out every now and then, so I can't complain. He doesn't like it when I'm insane. I get to have plenty of fun. Plus, as much work as Big Brother, Mama's Boy, and Queen Bee are... they are such fun to have and watch grow. They say and do the silliest things. You trade great things for better things I guess.

The Big Brother:
Big Brother is starting his second year of joy school and is super excited. He has LOVED sun beams and has recently been practicing baring his testimony... we'll see if he'll get up and do it in church! He likes to boss everyone around and while he is quite slow moving, he is stubborn as they come. He is at that age where he loves to ask me questions about things. A sign my little boy is growing up! Tomorrow he and Mama's Boy are getting bunk beds. Big Brother is pretty excited about sleeping on top... we'll see if he actually does it. He still rides the tri-cycle while Mama's Boy rides his Lightening McQueen training wheels bike. He is starting to get more aggressive and is really coming out of his shell. He says he wants to play baseball, so next year T-Ball here we come!

The Mama's Boy:
Mama's Boy does not like to go far from home. He likes to stay nice and cozy by mom. He gets to start his first year of joy school in a week! He is so excited. Really. He picks things up super quick and has a determination to try things himself. He does have a tendency to get jealous of Queen Bee. Especially when it comes to mom holding her. They get along well. His "mama's boy" side just comes out. He sort of has this crazy erratic behavior. He likes to chuck things... especially toys. And especially in nursery. Mama's Boy is my slightly destructive child. He rips books, pulls out food, plays in the dirt, cuts things up... I call it being creative. :-) He can be a little rough, but he loves to cuddle and be held. Plus, he has such an embracing personality. He is such fun. Usually up for anything!

The Queen Bee:
I'm not even sure how to start this one. Queen Bee has thrown me for a loop. She is not nearly as laid back and easy going as the boys are. She wants to do EVERYTHING herself. She loves putting shoes on and doing her hair. I think it makes her feel like she is going somewhere. She likes wearing dresses and skirts. She plays well with the boys and certainly holds her own, theres no question about that. I never know when she is going to go all nuts on me... when she suddenly is not getting her way, she totally freaks out and throws her body all over the ground kicking and screaming. I calmly step over her and ignore it, but sometimes she flips out so randomly! She is starting to talk more and more which is helping the "freaking out" phase. As nuts as she is, she is SO MUCH FUN. Lots of drama. But fun. She has such a way of making your heart melt. When she isn't giving you a nasty snobby scowl look, her smile is infectious. She wants so badly to be a big girl. The boys are pretty good about tending to her needs and including her. Her and Mama's Boy have some battles over mommy sometimes, but I think that is expected when you have multiple chicklettes.

So there you go! Here are some pix of the last 8 months. Hopefully I'll be around more now!


Having fun with all their puppets after Christmas

The face and clothes may be dirty, but the bow in intact.

Mama's Boy turns 3!

Big Brother turns 4!

I just love her!
Why kids love playing in their car seats I will never know...

The kids loved the Aquarium at Mandalay Bay

Cheese Ball!

In Las Vegas! Bellagio to be exact.

The Cousins
Big Brother finished his first year of Joy School

The "real" Boss' of Joy School

Thanks Eli Lilly! The Four Seasons Palm Beach, FL

South Beach! Water was BE-U-Tee-Full!

The Fourth of July Parade!
Waiting for the parade to start

Waiting in their little camping chairs for the parade!

We tend to hang in our jammies when we don't have plans for the day...

Friday, January 14, 2011

What is that smell???

It's me! I stink I know. I'm so lame. Sorry I've been so out of touch here. But we are alive. We are healthy... As far as we know. And we are happy! Just really really busy! Christmas was great with the family, the kids were so much fun! We are getting ready to move in a couple weeks. Which we are SO excited for! But everything that goes with buying a brand new home is sort of a headache. I'll just be glad when everything is done. Trying to take down Christmad stuff and pack... I'm feeling a little overwhelmed...
The Boss is rarely home, but we enjoy when he is! Between his job and his calling, and my calling, dance festival, and other community obligations, I feel like we are just passing eachother! But we do find time together to relax.
The kids are staying busy... Sorry I don't have any pictures! Queen Bee runs all over the house, trying so hard to play with her big brothers. They are nice to her for the most part :)
Mama's Boy plays with his trains he got for Christmas EVERYDAY!! Big Brother is enjoying joy school and is really starting to say interesting and funny things. I can see he is really taking on the big brother role... He has become quite the little bossy cow!
You probably won't here from me until after the move. Once we get everything together again, perhaps I can get back on a consistant schedule.
Much love!

Monday, November 8, 2010

A Giveaway!! Go check it out!

Hello friends, just want you to check out my friends blog... She is great... And does some AMAZING giveaways! Right now she is giving away her camera (very gently used). Anyway, check it out! It closes Wednesday!

www.veronicaaustin.blogspot.com

... And updates to come... I promise.