I seem to have lost my spider. If you know me well, you know I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Yes I know most don't hurt you, yes I know they are all around me, yes I know you will eat about 7 in your lifetime. But I am still afraid of them, and frankly I just don't like them one bit. I can't kill them, because I think they will jump on my hand/shoe, run up/down my body, into my ears, mouth, or nose, get into my brain, and kill me. You think I am exaggerating... I'M NOT!!
The other day a dear friend of mine came by (Anne). I won't go into details, but before she left she said, "oh, by the way, you have a HUGE spider above your walk way, it's pretty creepy." I walked them outside to see this "creepy" spider. Folks, let me tell you something, this was no ordinary "creepy" spider. He was big, black and hairy. He looked into my eyes and said, "I want to jump on your head, crawl into your brain, and suck the life out of you!" I couldn't hardly move. (I still don't know how you could have walked under him Anne). Anne asked me if I was going to kill it. I said, "no way, I'm waiting for The Boss to get home... he can kill it." Of course, by the time The Boss got home, that big, ugly, hairy, eight-legged, creepy killer had slid away in a hiding place.
I look out my front door at least once every couple hours during the day to see if he has returned. I know he is out there, creepily crawling around outside, or dare I say, INSIDE, my house. HE MUST BE FOUND and HE MUST BE KILLED!! I tried to find some pictures of him online so you will recognize him if you see him. (This was very difficult for me. I can't even stand to look at pictures, so I didn't look for very long.) I think he is a baby tarantula... seriously. They can be found in fields, or around homes. (I live by a field and in a home). He was black and hairy, not a black widow... much bigger than that. He did look similar to the jumping spider. But the jumping spiders looked a little small. I'm telling you, this sucker was HUGE! He is a cross between these two pictures. So, if you happen to see my dark, hairy, friend lurking around, please let me know, so I can send someone to KILL him IMMEDIATELY! 
6 comments:
I hate spiders too, despite all their helpfulness in the insect population diminishing occupation. I am shuddering thinking about it!
That is disgusting! I would die if I had one of those around my house! I make Mike spray for bugs and spiders and couple times a year because I too hate them that much! I have a hard time killing even the smallest spider, I always make Mike do it if he's home. My suggestion would be to go out and get that AWESOME bug/spider spray and have Aaron spray all around your house, inside and out... you might just find your little friend dead then! :)
Freaky! I hope that you have another way of getting in and out of your house. The front door does not seem like an option!
Your post just made me laugh and laugh and laugh! I absolutely HATE spiders too, I make Jake kill them whenever I see them. He laughs at how I freak out at even the teeny tiny ones that you can barely see... hey, if I can see it, it's too big!
I will eat 7 spiders in my lifetime??!!?!!? Ok I didnt need to know that!
I totally know how you feel...there is a gross baby lizzard in my house somewhere! i keep having dreams about it finding me in my bed-ugh!
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